Certainty and safety are core needs for most of us. Having the rug ripped out from under us, tripped more than a few. Everyone wants to feel safe and for this to be over. But what if it isn’t and we are still facing down long restrictions to our normal life of the past? What if…. This is the new normal?
I'm not waiting for the world to wake, I'm blasting my own way forward. I knew I’d never get there if I didn’t have a plan and even in these moments, I’ve found a quiet calm in being purposeful with my own path. This is familiar, I've been here before and this time, I'm prepared. It's become a part of my life ever since having our own shit storm in our family for the last couple of years. Scott’s death almost broke me, but now I’m stronger than ever. I had to become resilient and digging deep is my strength. A year under my belt life coaching myself has come in pretty bloody handy too, even more so now. It's been a part of my life now and every day to be able to build a new life forward.
Given that right now is a difficult part in the world that we haven't experienced before, I thought it might be helpful to everyone to be able to add what I’ve learnt along the way, through the biggest disaster of my life so far, which was a gift in itself, helping me build my resilience that makes this current world crisis so much easier to deal with. To give you some tools that have helped me, and maybe they can help you too.
However long it lasts, however these restrictions take, they're going to pass. Life will move forward, but maybe it won’t be exactly like it was. Life never is. We just don’t notice it so much. Might be wise to use this time as a pause in this moment to gain clarity on what you want for your life ahead. We've all been sent to the naughty corner, it would seem. That gives us a little bit more time to think about what we want our future to be. We’ve got time now, lots of it!
I decided to pause too and remember what was most important to me. Health, wellness, family, my independence and ultimately my own happiness. Love.
That took planning, mapping it out and breaking it down so that I had a real blueprint for where I wanted to head. Every day is a little tweak from the last. And it's creating beauty from chaos, listening to just enough on the news, then doing the hard work on my own life. This moment is a gift, an opportunity to create a new, better version of me, and maybe looking up instead of looking down.
What did I do? I decided to get serious on my priorities, because God knows that they’ve gotten a little lax of late. That they became a part of every week, not just once in a while when life gets gnarly. A plan to move forward, that I knew would most likely take me on twists and turns, and that was okay. But at least I knew where I was heading in the long run and I knew where these next few months would take me, even if there were more twists. That’s the thing about life, every day is a surprise. Pivot has become the catch cry right now and rightly so. Adaptability is the name of the game.
My fitness and health become even more important. Finances needed a good hard look too. I was spending more on random crap than I really should, but when I sat down with my master plan, I reigned that bad boy in and I’m back on track.
So, it becomes about “you doing you”. About finding out what's important to you, and what you can add in to make this week easier, happier, calmer. And maybe taking that big breath and looking up, as I said, instead of looking down.
I thought, "What are the steps that make my days easier? What are the steps we can do to move ahead in these really difficult times?"
My mornings are Step One. Thirty minutes in my morning I get up a little bit earlier and have 30 minutes of reflection and projection for my week ahead. A big book and I write it down. How much exercise do I want to do, what food do I need to eat, where are the kids, what can I control and how to let go of what I can't ?
Step two. Planning my week. What’s my top 10 that need doing, what things I want to achieve? And writing them down in a weekly planner. I print it off every week. It gives me structure structure to the week, and structure to my day, and to my life. Stability and safety are key for me. The most important values I hold. Yours might be adventure, creativity or comfort, growth, maybe even being of service to others and contributing to your community.
Step 3. When I come home at night, I set a time aside, as I walk in that door, to create 15 minutes again of quiet time before I start my evening. To be able to bring good energy into the house and good energy into my mindset. There's enough chaos in the world and enough uncertainty that's presenting itself to us, and I don't buy into it. I'd ask you maybe not to buy into it too.
Bringing that 15 minutes as you walk in the door and setting my intention of good energy. It might be as simple as making yourself a cup of tea and sitting down and decompressing for a few minutes. It might be going up and having a shower and getting into some fresh clothes, which brings a fresh mindset. Might be connecting to your partner, that hug could be just a little longer. It might be going out for that 30 minute walk at night if we can still take for exercise, and clearing our minds and bringing good energy to our family, and our kids, and our lives at night. No stress, just calm.
For however long we are in isolation, we're all in this together. We're all rowing the same boat.
I'm bringing in my very best direction to move forward. I think that's what resilience is. It's in those moments where chaos and the winds are blowing, then we stand firm and we bend, we adapt, we pivot, and we bring that into our lives in a positive way. There's so much negativity in the media and in the world right now, that it's easy to fall into that. So, step away from the television after you've got your need-to-know information and build the rest of your evenings and your mornings with positivity that comes through your day and ultimately your own life. You are in charge, don’t stand back.
Step up! We've got this.